Honor your uniqueness

Money is . . .

Can you complete that statement?

Would you say it is . . .

the root of all evil.

dirty

a sign of greed

corrupt

not everything

not important

the ruler of everything around you

for people with no morals

scarce

or would you say it is . . .

another resource

plentiful

an energy

a blessing

a prize

helpful

a sign of the abundance of the Universe

And why does it matter what you think about money, anyway?

Well! I've been researching for months now. I was so curious to find what the difference between wealthy and poor people was. I found it in various texts. The distinguishing difference in poor and wealthy people is the way they think.

The cars they drive, the clothes they wear and the schools they send their children to are all results of this. Your thoughts about yourself, your life and your resources (namely money) will cause you to have very different experiences. . .

There are people who want to live comfortably. I mean, there are people who would like not to suffer but who would consider themselves morally inferior if they were not struggling. I have a friend - he is a phenomenal writer and poet. He was in the library studying vigilantly for a paper he was working on for graduate school (which is his custom). I felt proud. As a compliment and encouragement I asked him if he was trying to make "us" a millie one day. He said: "Man, I'm just trying to be another worker."

Many people would find this honorable. I found it ridiculous and unacceptable for me. Why? Because - even if I did not have aspirations of leading the life of a billionaire I still would not want to be "just another" anything. I mean, come on! What a waste. He has incredible talent and apparently has no high hopes for it if he aspires to be "just another worker."

You do not have to become a millionaire if you do not want to. . .but you can at least grace this world with your talent and skill. Share yourself with the world! It is safe to do so. . .Share your gifts - we are always looking for the fresh & new. . .There has never been another like you and their never will.

You do not have to apologize for your success and you do not have to hamper your success. Know that it is absolutely natural and healthy to desire compensation for your service/work. You deserve to be provided for as you add your voice to the cultural mix and supply the world with a fresh, never-before-seen PERSPECTIVE which is unique to you.

So. . .What are you waiting for?

"A $10,000 Idea." or "I want things to go my way!"

..."as of late, a lot of things have been going side-ways..."

Just yesterday - I was making progress (or so I thought) I was climbing the mountain and I could see clearly how things would work out for me. Things were clearly laid out financially and I was certain that I would make long strides toward my overall one-year financial goals - enjoying the leisurely stroll as I approach the end of my undergraduate career.

And then I received some news which more or less knocked my happy ass right on down the mountain. No scratch that! In many ways.. I was just like this guy!

The one toppling over, I mean... but that was yesterday (literally.. yesterday)! And I haven't gained any weight from emotional eating.. though, my hair is a bit shorter than it was when I got the party-pooping news.

So, what I learned as my life plans rearranged themselves dramatically and my resources were reduced by more than 83% in just a few hours. Now, mind you, this is ALSO after I asked a few friends to help me decide how to invest $10,000. Yes, I said it. $10,000. Gone. Like that. Sigh.

Now, this would have been the part where I cry, eat an entire double-chocolate cake with a pint of milk, drive to another city in an effort to run from my so-called problems or begin my old 12-hour sleep cycle. [My usual methods of escapism].

But... I couldn't. I couldn't just fall back down because I have been affirming my desires. I have been daydreaming about them and the pull of my desires is far stronger than the silliness of my past. I have read books, talked to life coaches, listened to audio lectures and told myself over and over that I DESERVE EXTRAORDINARY SUCCESS... I can see my success.. I can even feel it... And compared to my vision - sleeping just isn't that attractive anymore.. and neither is the cake or milk (yuck @milk).

And that's precisely why I am not pulling my hair out (though, I was, literally pulling my hair out after I got the news initially, to be totally honest!).

BUT, more importantly, I am still EXCITED about what is to come. My faith will not allow meto accept failure as permanent. I know that EVERY set back is only temporary. I have been researching success literature for months now and have learned one thing which is of particular importance at this juncture. There are many ways to say this... Let's see...

"A set back is a set up for a come back."

"Quitters never win and winners never quit."

"If at first you don't succeed try, try again!"

"Never, never, [ever, never] never give up."

"Our strength grows out of our weakness."

"Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent."

And that's just it! My faith in the assurance of my eventual success will not let me quit. I refuse. This failure is temporary. And what's more, I will not accept it as a failure! I will keep moving and keep re-conditioning my subconscious mind for success (with affirmations, declarations also called autosuggestion). I will keep moving into the mental, spiritual, emotional and physical space of my goals.

In other words, I will allow this lesson to transform me into the woman I am capable of being. The woman whose income in CONSTANTLY increasing, the woman who prospers wherever she turns, the woman who is an optimistic realist... because the truth of the matter is "you cannot manifest/earn/create anything and sustain unless you are willing to become it in consciousness!"

Cheers!

J. Cole = New Love

A Different Approach to Healing Self

We have a new approach.. a new option where our Health & Well-Being is concerned. I believe that this approach will be better than all the methods I have explored and experimented with before which makes sense because my Life and all my creations therein just keep IMPROVING. Bless...

So, ordinarily I would try to dig deep into myself to see what my problems were - what was ailing me or "weighing on me" etc. Well, it is true that when you go searching for problems - you find them! As we live our Lives we need only focus entirely into this glorious & sensually explosive moment and nothing else. And within that moment we need only feel/sense the things that we Love & appreciate... We need only give our attention to that which we would like to see more of... And when oppositions arise in the moment.. That is- when we are reminded of something that we have (perhaps) tried to suppress or have ill-emotion about/toward then we can make the decision then and there to Let It Go and then we replace that feeling/thought/pattern with something that BETTER SERVES US.

Now, the Key to letting things go is to communicate directly with the Subconscious Mind. That part of you which remembers everything you show it and which holds the patterns you set forth with integrity & devotion. The Subconscious Mind is a visual communicator. So, picturing in your mind a new and improved version of your current reality creates a new pattern. Using affirmations and feeling them and visualizing them is effective in recreating the patterns and habits we still have that no longer support us. The key to effective change is replacement. The Subconscious Mind does not settle with "voids." This means.. When you decide to "no longer feel/think that way" - your Subconscious Mind, then, needs you to show it how you NOW choose to feel/think.

It is totally unnecessary to go digging for our problems... They will arise to be cleared/healed as they need to. And as they do arise.. It is then absurd to focus on these small arbitrary things as if they can rule you.. They are your creation and you gave it all the power it has and as easily as power is given it can be taken away.

I will use an example from my Life: I am currently working out of Louise L Hay's Love Yourself, Heal Your Life Workbook and I was asked to write everything about how I feel about men. LOL I immediately began to scribble all these harsh and disgusting things that I was totally unaware that I felt toward men... And as I thought about these things I imagined (visualized) specific instances from my Life and thought of specific men (thus identifying them once more with these negative choice-feelings)...

Now, in order to heal/empower my Self I have chosen a new route. Instead of focusing upon that which causes my distortive* emoitonal discomfort I choose to evoke all the things I LOVE about MEN and visualize them.. I choose to think of all the remarkable men I have encountered in my life and associate these renewed choice-feelings with them...

I no longer go over and over the problems in my mind thus giving them more power and recreating them. Now, I choose to see what I want to see thereby actualizing it!

And I am healed. I am empowered.

Be uplifted. Go for it! CREATE! <3

Name-Calling

My Selves have been calling me names lately. Friends, On-lookers, Lovers, Pagans have been calling me a mystic, a weirdo and a witch. I take these as major compliments and while I was receiving these messages I recognized that I was attracting/creating them. In my mind, there is nothing wrong with the words but I knew that some of the messengers had no intention of uplifting me with these words LOL!

Now, Christianity defines witchcraft as manipulation... and I was called a manipulator and likened to a snake on one account. (I love the snake! She is a goddess-symbol lol) But I felt hurt at the time & the experience took me back to my Christianity days - showing me things that need to be cleared! (I'm blessed because otherwise I may not have realized that I still harbored -within my subconscious mind - some contempt for magick/natural power & universal laws. These things undoubtedly were holding me back from stepping fully and permanently into my Power). The one speaking was someone I respect deeply and care for. I haven't stopped caring and respecting(lol) even though I am withdrawn, at this time. I love him. He has been a compassionate teacher and I do not blame my teachers for the understandings our Spirits have agreed to heighten our perceptions to. In other words, I am the one who needed to learn. He was humble, wise, beautiful and noble enough to teach me. I am sincerely grateful & I feel honored.

On my part, one thing I noticed I was doing as I started to feel ill-emotions was my trying to figure out what he was thinking. I told him later what I thought he was thinking which was that I was a witch who was trying to manipulate him and ruin his life. That is very difficult to say without sharing the situation. I can only say that now the accusation is funny and clearly my friend thinks highly of himself and was speaking from a place of deep fear & intense insanity. (His Will supporting all of this for the purpose of teaching & learning - certainly). We love him still lol!

So, in thinking his thoughts I began to feel his emotions and then I began to experience good ole shame & guilt... I thought I left these behind with religion but I guess not...!

So, I learned... never to try to think someone else's thoughts especially since (as this case has shown) their thoughts may be INSANE, ignorant, fearful and blaming. No one thinks inside my mind but me. No one thinks inside your mind but you! Though, there are times when your other Selves enter your orbit for the "Soul Purpose" ;-) of helping you co-create something.

I also learned that I must have patience with people who are transitioning out of their programming.. of which the "Victim-Villain Paradigm" is a major part. Surely, I am still clearing these patterns-of-thought or I would not need these teachings/experiences. Lastly, that particular connection has shown me something that many others that are happening now are showing me!... They are showing me what I DON'T WANT TO BE/HAVE/DO... And so, these experiences are simultaneously clarifying what I do want to be/have/do.

I am deeply grateful, uplifted, inspired & awake.
Love you! Mean it,
Ciao

There's Just Me

one of my selves said to me (passive-aggressively).. "what do you do if people are not responsive to you?" [long pause]... she sort of smirked.. wanting me to get that she was talking about me... [my face was blank; there was a twinge of annoyance but mostly emotional detachment (that's my gift)].. i shrugged, then said..."do affirmations." (I'm really big into affirmations these days) ... later that night i attracted a simple message to myself which in short said that if you are noticing that people "ignore or avoid you" give thanks for this... because what they are actually doing is giving you time alone and you may then use this time to figure out what your REAL problem is.

so, last year Kali destroyed my Life. i am extremely grateful! my family lost one of our houses, i lost the same job at the same place a second time in a row (b/c it was shutting down)... my family moved back to new york, i caught my stepdad watching me after coming out the shower after my mother wouldn't believe that he watched me in the shower about a week before.. i've had scary dreams as a result of this.. my boyfriend (whom I was certain I was in love with) broke up with me claiming neither of us was ready for a relationship and ended up back in a relationship with one of his other exes.. that ended a cool friendship of 3 years. i broke up with my two best friends... and my car got into a wreck in the middle of the night while it was parked on the curb minding it's own buisness... it was a lovely year! no, really.. it was... now.. the cherry on top? a guy i really liked... decided that he and i could not "kick it" anymore simply because i lied to him (badly).. and knew i was lying and knew he knew i was lying.. and just kept.. lying. LMAO!!!

the year was fun.. i must say.. but glad that phase is over... and glad i can see clearly what that phase was all about! everything that happened... landed me where i am now... alone... with lots of work to do... the lovers i took, the relationship i indulged, the worries, complaints, fears, weaknesses... the "losses" were all perfect... you see? While I insisted upon hesitating and playing games to distract myself from my work.. while I committed the "sin" of sloth.. and while I pretended to really really really like boys who i actually couldn't stand.. just so I'd have someone there... I was REALLY just afraid to take care of my own needs, to move forward & to do my transformational work..

So, Kali broke my damn foot in the middle of the night... I woke up the next morning with a fracture in my foot... and feet problems signifies a resistance to moving in the direction that Life wishes to take you... and then I simply refused to see a doctor about this foot.. Instead I grabbed an old cane and limped all over Greensboro. I was being quite dumb actually... It wasn't until I realized that I had two weeks to find a job, a home & a car before I was umemployed, homeless & stuck with NO ONE to help me or to care... My ex-boyfriend was living in the livingroom of his friend's apartment.. and my mother was going under.. I had no friends and very little options. I resorted to writing charity letters and searching for work. I was completely stressed out.. eating for comfort.. and then when my stepfather violated the boundaries of our relationship as it was... I was literally on the streets.. staying with whomever I could... I slept in people's beds that I didn't know personally and sort of got this vagabond vibe going... I was dirty and stressed and sad and MAD AS HELL.. and still resisting... my baby brother who is 12 was in the hospital for about a month after having three strokes and my mother ended up shipping my three baby sisters back to New York... I clung to my boyfriend... in EVERY way possible... until he withdrew himself.. by then he had already picked my car.. I had a good day amongst the madness and put on a pretty dress.. listened to my Spirit when she told me to call Ed McKay and ended up going in for an interview the very day the guy I replaced quit... I started living in my apartment... but I was STILL resisting.. my foot was still killing me.. and I was still putting an impossible burden on my ex-boyfriend's head... to be my rock.. my foundation.. and refuge and Savior..

He had never seen me so weak.. but he understood... And so, he did what was necessary for me to wake up.. he left. And then... I had nothing.. no family. no home. no daddy. no friends to fall into. no boyfriend (no SEX!? :((( ... )

Nothing... Except... Me.

For a while I was lost... What the hell was I supposed to do? I was in a seeming permanent funk. I started seeing a therapist.. because I wanted the feeling of support.. but that just put me in a worse funk.. I'm resorting to shrinks!?!? Not even one friend to talk to? I told the brothers from the history club what happened at my home... four of them showed up at my house... but I was still homeless for a while there.. and I had to accept help from STRANGERS.. my heart was broken.. and i was still resisting... I finally took a lover.. a wise man with a poverty mentality.. a perfect reflection of me.. (no matter what.. whoever you're with.. will always be an absolute perfect reflection of you!)... eventually he left me too... i tried a couple others.. but nothing... I just kept coming back to me. All I have. And I started to notice how I'd give me up for a man.. When I was with DJ (my ex).. I became him.. Fear & all... I started to lose the little that I had gained.. I was dull and dark and fake.. and worried about everything... I was my own shadow... But after he left me.. I started to wake up... And after my lover left me... I started to wake up more.. and after I quit my psychotherapist.. I started to wake up even more.. and I remembered all the spiritual tools I had gathered the year before.. See? I got into a nasty habit of learning and reading and doing NOTHING with what I'd been given.. but when I was wrecked and left alone stranded with myself.. I felt a lot like I was floating in the middle of open water.. no shore.. no life-jacket.. jjjjuuuusstttt me.

And so, I started using my tools. When I was with DJ I'd stopped writing.. a clear indication that I was not being myself.. my roommates tried to warn me (lol)...I started writing, meditating, praying.. using my healing stones, listening to my favorite music.. creating collages, ignoring phone calls, going out dancing, painting my nails, painting, detoxing my body, writing down my dreams, doing card readings for myself... practicing yoga... chanting, doing firewell therapy, burning 7day candles.. I was recently introduced to chakradancing. tantric healing.. was practicing huna.. and started RECEIVING... i totally got back to me!!!! And now, my goals are expansive.. I am happily single, I am finishing up undergrad by the end of the summer.. my car and credit card will be paid off NEXT WEEK!! i've cleared my closet, my bedroom, my bookshelves, my cellphone and my mind... i doing chakra healing, mudras, yoga, steaming.. I eat live food, I actively & deliberately create my reality and I study the things that interest me... and I am becoming more and more aware of the perfection of the process of Life, how there is only me.. everywhere.. and a fearlessness my world's destruction introduced me to... I am more willing and able to let go & to move when Life wants me to.. because I see clearly now.. It is for the highest good of everyone involved! LOL

Be peace.
Ciao.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qBERljqHnzk