Life Works Perfectly

DISCLAIMER-ISH: I am extremely pleased to be back here today! There are many things on my heart and mind to share this glorious morning. However, before I get into that I want to be quite clear- I am going to be open and honest. I am a writer and I have found since age 4 when I began writing that putting something out there in written form offers what might be called a "comic relief!" For all those people who are extremely private - do not date a writer because you just might find yourself starring in a story of their's. My purpose is to share my experience with anyone who wants to learn from it and most anyone who wants to know! Maybe my "secrets" are precious and I should be more careful but I feel better sharing... But I am also aware that others are not comfortable with my sharing and that can get into gossip therefore... I will refrain from using names (some times!) but I will be very truthful- Sagittarius that I am!

WHAT I CREATED: So, what's been on my mind is... the parents that I created for myself. When I was younger it was a whole other story. I was the baby... everything was about me. My mother was fun! We danced around our apartment, hung out with friends, went on field trips... things were just better. But things started to happen when I was 12 years old. Now, that I look back I recognize a need I had to be out of my parent's reach... This was the year my mother got married to her husband and relocated the family from Rochester, NY to North Carolina. It was also the year I fell in love with Charles.

Ha! This is a fairly recent picture... but he is still himself! He was 17 at the time. I've always liked older guys!! Anyway, this was my first love. This was also around the time that I met the Ex (that I am releasing from my heart this month as apart of my manifestation cycle). Being in love added an intensity to my life that I was unaccustomed to...and changed me deeply. Before it was just church and bible study 4 times a week and shadowing my mother. Now, I was sneaking around and LYING! (Fun times!) Anyway, my mother noticed the withdrawal which only intensified when I was 16 and fell in love with the beautiful Scorpian devout Christian McKenzie-

For my Twilight fans- McKenzie was a lot like Edward Cullen without the whole vampire, immortal thing...very romantic and very loving and as mentioned McKenzie was a devout Christian and at the time I was too!!! Anyway, he was from the Bahamas so this was an automatic long-distance relationship... we fell in love with our computers... he came into the country to take me to prom, to come to my graduation and to spend a week and a half with my friends and me! He was a good cyber-boyfriend! LOL... My mother hated him. Found many things wrong with him and it was at this time that the first big part of my spiritual evolution came about! I learned what an emotionally turbulent mother I had created for myself. She became vicious towards me- trying to limit and restrict me... trying to dictate me and my life. I am a lover of freedom- freedom to love whoever, to think and believe as you will etc etc! This extreme desire of my mother to "control" me physically and emotionally has continued up until today. I believe that the spiritual agreement that she and I have is for her to teach me patience, forgiveness, unconditional love, soul group concepts and self-reliance and she has done a magnificent job!

When I was realizing that Christianity was painful for me and I didn't want to be in the church while my mother (a terrible singer) wailed on the mic behind the preacher she has a slight crush on she became extraordinarily vicious. She actually said to me that my relationship with God was between me, God and her... She threatened to kick me out if I didn't go to church and tried to "punish" me in all types of ways... Not very Christ-like at all... This reaction out of her made me commit myself fully to my decision to explore other spiritual avenues- which is why it was PERFECT and why I do not resent it. While I was an advent church-goer though... I learned all about SOUL TIES

and that was my introduction to what spirit had been teaching me all along- Community of Spirit (I look forward to writing in depth about this here, soon!)... The final thing that happened was my final push and it taught me to question EVERYTHING!

I was an AP/IB student at Grimsley High School. I loved it... I wrote letters to my friends all day and aced most of my classes! There was one teacher though from which I drew a major and important lesson (and others which are being made clear now). At the time, I needed to stop trusting "superiors" so much and question them instead. So, my teacher (a very strange and quirky white male) meant to make a point and what he said was that "if so-and-so's grandmother came back from the dead she would walk into the classroom and say (to me, the only brown-skinned face in the place) I didn't know y'all had niggers at this school." I was stunned... and I think that is only just recently wearing off (how desperately we hold on!)...





WHAT I LEARNED: The problem was- everything he taught, everything he said I trusted because he was the teacher and I liked him a lot. Even the things he said that were foolish to me- I tried to makes sense of in my own mind. But after that... I almost entirely withdrew and started to engage him in argument more. I didn't agree so easily anymore! Also he was the one who reminded me of 3 important concepts: idealism, materialism and dualism. When it came down to it I was drawn more to dualism but that did not entail all that I or you are. Thus, that questioning everything, combined with my Christian foundation and my self-reliance (all results of these experiences and changes) led me to my ever-developing Purple Ontology!!

Shedding

Astrological Influences: The clearing phase of the Cn28 moon manifestation cycle (jujumama.net) began last night (July 20). This always happens in accordance with the new moon (which I like to call the dark mistress). The new moon started on July 21 at 10:35am EST. This electrifying new Cancerian moon made it very clear that this is time to start new projects in motion which provide for basic needs and bring about greater success. It was a deep spiritual reminder that Mama Universe is taking care of her children- We are secure, We are deeply loved. This was also a lucky time to make wishes! And a clear indicator that for some it may be time to make a real estate related MOVE! At the same time, the solar eclipse, which could be seen (on July 21) in Asia and other parts of the world, along with the moon's movement out of Cancer into Leo (July 21-23) were happening. This cultivation of energy provided everyone with wonderful transformational opportunities. A great deal of shedding was facilitated by this celestial movement as the solar eclipse intensified the new moon. I, being a Sagittarius, became particularly vulnerable in personal relationships as Venus and Saturn squared off. At the same time, due to this new moon eclipse my potentially narrow view of a situation was instantaneously broadened- and I suddenly see the bigger picture! Also, a long-standing concern about a loved one was suddenly healed due to my forgiveness! Coming up tomorrow (July 22) when Mr. Sun enters Leo along with the moon things really HEAT up for me! I gain new confidence regarding my manifestation goals and adventure will abound! Coming this weekend my positive energy will inspire everyone! I have a Moon-in-Leo so I expect to be especially enlivened, invigorated and in tune with the moon's cycle these coming days.




How this looks in real life: I did my first Zpoint meditation process today- which is a tool the Cn28 program teaches. I was in the library at school repeating the phrases and saying my cue word. I felt the effects of this powerful spiritual tool instantly. I am not entirely sure how it works (if you can shed light on that, please do) but it surely worked! The dark moon assists us in releasing and clearing out any old habits, beliefs and relationships that just are not supportive of where we are trying to go, sure- so it made sense! But that combined with that powerful solar eclipse (: it only makes sense that this already wonderful tool would settle in and I would feel myself cleansing and re-installing more beneficial thought-patterns. The Zpoint process offers lasting and cumulative results so I recommend that you try it immediately!

Now, one of my past goals was to "master" the law of attraction but I allowed worry to block me. I declared this goal before I realized that there are other universal laws and before I stopped clinging so much to the idea of "mastering" something in an ever-expanding universe. I let that go... but I am still wanting to understand enough to make this miraculous and perfect process work within my life. Residual manifestations started to flow- music, books, people, conversations, youtube videos etc etc! I googled Zpoint and found a website recommending a book to me that I am already currently reading about the law of attraction, the science of deliberate creation and the art of allowing. I highly recommend the book to anyone who wants to know more about these laws. It is called: The Law of Attraction: The Basics of the Teachings of Abraham by Jerry and Esther Hicks. A couple other books that I picked up were The Power of Now and A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle.

Now with that Cancer moon I've been attracting Cancer-Suns to me. One in particular is my new housemate Kelvon! (Shout OUT!) She and I spent ten straight hours together (June 20th). That is a miracle for me, because I do not spend time with people like that at all! And the amazing thing about it is that I didn't even notice the time!! The day slipped on by (as usual) and we talked and talked and learned more about one another. Being around her really added to my Creative Workshop (which you will learn more about in the Hicks book above). She is a nurturing, emotional, intuitive, expression, beautiful, joyful spirit!!! I love being around my Queen. It is amazing how easily and effortlessly she attracts things to her. Remember how I said Mama Universe was clearly stating that her children are taken care of? Well, there wasn't a place we went where someone wasn't trying to take care of Kelvon! Ask her!!! She's gotten energy therapy sessions, meditation sessions, personalized yoga instruction from an amazing yoga teacher, people coming out of no where to assist her. Being around her for limited amounts of time and hearing how people keep such close tabs on her and respond to her shifting vibrations within minutes (seconds even!!!!) to reveal to her the abundance of her resource is truly inspirational. Seeing that in a deliciously feminine female is the inspiration I needed to kick my feet up and TRUST that I, too, am taken care of.

And as I think on her and think back to former Nows (ie: the past) I do not recall a time in which I had a deep need or desire that was not satisfied. I have never gone hungry or homeless... I have never been sick without having a friend or family member there to care for me... In fact, if I ever needed it- I've always been caught by loved ones and lovers and always know who I can call on. This is relevant because as I hinted earlier (like everyone) I am sensitive to the lunar cycles... but like other true seekers I am becoming more aware of this! My mother decided to move the family back to Rochester, NY... but since I have to finish school and have ZERO desire to move with them or to continue living with them for that matter I opted to stay in NC. This means that I am more or less "on my own." At first this seemed like a total blow! I just thought my mother was being selfish again (I'm sure with a statement like that you can guess what kind of mother I've created for myself). But then I realized- it is finally time to LET THAT version of reality GO!!!! And I am so excited about my new and improved reality which is settling into place all around me as I type NOW. It is extravagant and fabulous and just what I wanted.



I am also making new friends! Cancer is also described as "self-protective..." And if that's the case then there are obviously some connections that were bound to fall away- not to mention there are many people whose vibrations are out of alignment with mine. Thus, one of my goals (even before I realized how perfectly orchestrated all these things have been)... I decided that my relationship goal for this month would be to release and clear out old connections! My heart is thus open and willing to accept new connections- which is a beautiful thing... b/c there are so many beautiful people that I attract and want almost desperately to connect with... but I have a shy nature too (Sagittarian Dragon vibe - I know you wouldn't expect it! lol) and it turns out when you have a lot of baggage people with lighter loads don't exactly flock to you! Therefore, I set the intention forth- I am letting people go once and for all.


So then, I had a DREAM! And I read today that dreams let you know where you are headed as far as your manifestations are concerned. In this dream I saw three people that I KNOW I need to release... One of them was an ex- We were gorgeous together! Look! That's one of my favorite pictures ever!!!!! But not one of the best people for me...

(He's going to be a politician one day so don't quote me) but in the dream his skin and hair turned white and limp... he got old and FUGLY!!! right before my eyes. The other two were my ex-boyfriend and one of my best friends from high school who were together in "real life" for a while. Well... they lived in my grandma's house in Rochester in the dream and I was alone... driving this huge truck... looked like this:

and it just sort of started moving and I couldn't break... I had to continue driving down a road until I could find a spot where I could turn around... but then I got unto a ONE WAY bridge which was jam-packed with hundreds of other cars- therefore there was no way in hell for me to turn around... not to mention I was on a thin by-way dug-out in the throat of a mountain with no guardrails and no real knowledge of where I was headed or how these other people drove. Although, I get the feel I was going to be driving for a very long time (out of country to Canada, perhaps) before the option of turning around became available to me again...

Kelvon responded to this dream she said, "Well, that was CLEAR!" Hell yeah! (: I am on my way to clearing out old partnerships and friendships... not that I don't love these people... it's just that clinging to them and the memory of them and what they "did to me" or what I "did to them" is not supportive of my mission to mystery-land. That dream was REFRESHING!

I have also been seeing a lot of children in dreams... I was even nursing a small girl in one. In another one... this lady's man impregnated 7 women at once and 7 girl-children were born around the same time. They were of different nationalities, all so beautiful and intelligent. They were babies talking like college-graduates... That was probably Jupiter getting a move on! Expansion and again that Cancerian new-ness for which I am deeply grateful.

The last thing that I want to add- just to be full-circle in this joint... is that the forgiven concern is dealing with my mother... A cancer-gemini-sun-cusp. I learned that my having a Moon-in-Leo could mean that I had a wonderful extravagant parent-which my mother was when she was younger. But it might also mean that your parent never grew up (emotionally)... and so this placement will eventually influence my familial decisions-when I branch off and build my own with my partner... An understanding of the "bigger picture" came after my 12-year-old brother had a stroke. My needs surfaced, true friends came out the woodwork, a desire to be more serious where my health is concerned has shown it self... and a deeper understanding of the art of allowing (upon thousands of other potential lessons came about)... To be clear, I am probably only able to write about him because he is back home (he's being monitored) but I know he will be just FINE (:....

so advice of the week: WRITE DOWN YOUR DREAMS as much as you can! Your dreams are messages from your guides and angels... Signs galore!

cool article on working with the lunar cycle from tarot.com: http://www.tarot.com/astrology/moon-phases/working-with-lunar-cycles

thanks for reading!

ciao, spirit